Love on a Sunday- Michael and Sofia

Sofia: The first time I met Michael was in 2013, but I don't remember meeting him. I met him again at school in 2014 not knowing that we had previously met, but there was something about him that reminded me of Chris Pratt from Parks and Rec. So I automatically started calling him Chris Pratt. He thought that was kind of curious and 2 weeks into school he said, "You do know my name is Michael, right?" All concerned and worried.  And then he started calling me Aubrey Plaza (who is also a character on parks and rec). It wasn't until we went on a hike in the beginning of our relationship that he said, "You really don't remember meeting me in 2013?" And I said "No, we were at a party and there were so many people!" And he said "I met you after I saw you in that play you were in and I asked you what your name was and you said, "Sofia." So I asked if your name was spelled with an “f” or a “ph.” When he said that it jogged my memory and I actually did remember meeting him and was excited because my name is spelled with an "f" and people rarely get that right in the United States.

Michael: So the very first time we met, we were at an artist summer camp at CSU Monterey Bay. We met very briefly, but I remembered her. Then 2 years later, we ended up at the same acting conservatory. I remembered meeting her but for the first 6 months she had no recollection of meeting me, which was pretty funny. And it’s a year later, a year and half, really, and I think it’s been golden so far.

Sofia: I’m trying to get him to cry.

Michael: She’s trying to get me to cry.

Sofia: He’s been trying to cry but hasn’t cried yet.

Michael: I’m due for a really good cry in life. You know what I mean? Where I’m just like sobbing…

Sofia: Gotta let it out.

Michael: The gates are a little bit open, but not  where it just floods…

Sofia: You were really affectionate with me last night when we were sleeping.

Michael: Was I?

Sofia: Yeah, you kissed me while we were sleeping! And then we cuddled a lot.

 

Sofia: Our biggest struggle is Michael doesn’t like to talk about his feelings, and I do, so we have to figure out the balance. Eventually he does…

Michael: I can’t do it on the spot. I need time to cool down. I have to ponder things.

Sofia: It’s so hard for both of us. Do you know how hard it is to wait and not talk about it and not solve the problem right away? And go a whole day trying to not think about it?

Michael: Mmhmm. But she knows how much I appreciate it.

Sofia: Well I just know it’s not going to work if I pressure him. You can’t pressure someone into explaining how they feel when they’re not ready. *They kiss*

Michael: I’m getting better, but some things are more gripping for me than others, that it’s just very hard. I get very tightly wound. I just need time to unwind and then I can process my thoughts a little better.

Sofia: It’s a little bit of a compromise because he needs to tell me something, even if he just says “I don’t know what I’m feeling.” He needs to communicate something to me, it can’t just be “I don’t know.” THAT to me I can’t handle. That’s unacceptable. 

Michael: And if I’m uncomfortable, my old habit is to say “I’m fine.” That just shuts it down.

Sofia: Sometimes we can talk about it, and sometimes we can’t. And sometimes I get impatient with him. It’s a learning process. Even when I feel so bad in the moment and we’re struggling to find that balance, once we finally talk about it - when he’s willing to talk about it and I’m willing to listen-  it makes me feel so strong in the relationship. It’s like therapy over here. I’m crying. *They both laugh*

Sofia: But I cry easily so…

Sofia: There's never been anything in our relationship we haven't addressed. There was something that happened right before our trip to New Orleans. when Michael said “We’ll talk about it later.” And then we landed in LA and I was like “Let’s talk about it.” It was literally 9 days later and Michael was like “Ahh I KNEW you were going to bring it up but I didn’t know when…” But it took a few minutes, because it had been so far removed.

Michael: There was so much time in between… *They both laugh*

Sofia: It was the most simple thing. I mean there are times I go, “We don’t have to talk about everything. We can just drop it. Right?”

Michael: Not this time! She’s patiently impatient. 

Sofia: Oh I like that! I’m patiently impatient! This cheek is my favorite. I love kissing this one! And then this is his favorite *Michael points to her right cheek*

Michael: Something I enjoy about our relationship is that we point things out to each other that we would never have thought about. Like putting the bacon long-ways so more of it can fit on the pan in the oven. That was brilliant Sofia. 

Sofia: Michael’s very much a team player. I’m a team player but I like to be the director.

Michael: But she’s actually a really good team player too. We switch... I hate the phrase wearing the pants, but we trade off. 

Sofia: I don’t even see it like that as much as I see it as, I’m the student and he’s the teacher. And vice versa.

Michael: Or sometimes we’re both teaching or both students. There’s such a wonderful flux of give-and-take between us that is very fulfilling and refreshing to me.

Sofia: But I don’t want you to think our relationship is perfect because it’s far from perfect.

Michael: We are far from perfect.

Sofia: We’re both very young. I think that means we’re both constantly changing the way we feel and perceive things. I don’t think we’re so secure in our relationship that we’re both…

Michael: Blind. And ignorant of things changing. If that day comes, we’ve always talked about how open we want to be with each other and that we need to be there for ourselves first. 

Michael: We both love to cook. We take turns making meals for each other. She teaches me how to be more clean. She educates me on the benefits of what it’s like to be clean. She’s a master. I’m very thankful.

 

Sofia: I guess it's because I love Michael so much, but every time we get in a big argument, I’m always thinking, Are we going to make it through this? I always go there. There’s never a time I don’t go there. There’s something about Michael… I guess it’s because I care about him so much and I look at us and think there are so many huge differences amongst the similarities. But he doesn’t feel that way. 

Michael: I mean the differences are there, but at the same time it makes us very complementary. Like early in the morning, she’s less of a morning person than I am so she’ll be a little bit more grumpy sometimes. But she’s much more social than I am. She doesn’t really have moments where she doesn’t want to be social, whereas I get that sometimes.